Is there a way where I can see whats in the mail queue and also make it possible for me to drop those that have failed but are continuously being resent over and over again by my server?
There should be some place in your server called mail or maybe mqueue and inside there are q1, q2, q3 and q4
Inside those folders are your mail that are waiting to leave the server and are either jammed there for days or have so many that its waiting for its turn to get processed.
Try locating that folder and emptying the things there.